Snapped
by Blackblood15
Summary: Maka, attempts suicide after being abused by her father, and is then sent to the DWMA, a mental institute. Where she will overcome many obstacles, make friends, and learn what it's like to be a normal teenager. Soul, a patient at the same hospital will help her on her journey, and be invested greatly in insuring her safety...Kinda depressing story, but hope you like it. SoulxMaka
1. Chapter 1: Acceptance

**Hi guys, this is a SoMa ship and it's sorta heavy in the beginning, so if your not into that, keep going on with your depression-less day ;)**

**Also sadly I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER **

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Chapter 1: Acceptance

By: Blackblood15

It had been years since I had seen my mother. People would use to say that she would come back one of these years, but I had learned to accept the fact that she's gone. I overheard my father talking about her death with my principle as he was enrolling me in school. I wasn't supposed to be listening but it's easy when you are invisible. To blend in with the crowd and become one with the silence.

.

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I had my daily routine, which was just home to school, repeat. So, I kept to myself and tried my best not to disturb my father during my studies. Life had been rough for the Albarn family, after the death of my mother, Papa turned to the drink and had developed anger issues. I was now 15 years old and had learned to cope with the physical and verbal beatings that came almost every day. Fighting back tears as to not show weakness and biting my tongue till I tasted blood, so I wouldn't scream. Covering bruises with any long-sleeved article of clothing I could find. Never letting anyone know because of the fear that he would do something worse than the present.

I am now walking down the hallway of my school in leggings, and a white button down with a yellow sweater vest over it. The heat overwhelming, but the thought of showing my new fresh wound made me shiver. I look at the clock and color leaves me as I see that it is almost 2:00. I watch the arm quickly make its way to the last dark numbers and dread consumes me. The roar of the bell rings inside my head. Everyone stands to leave, and I remain seated, and as slow as possible put away my last graded quiz which has a neatly printed 100 percent in the left-hand corner with a small smiley face next to it. I lift my bag and give a somber smile to my teacher as I leave. The grey clouds in the sky suggest rain and I quickly pull my umbrella out of my bag. Lifting it up higher to make sure it covers my blonde pigtails correctly.

I walk the 2 blocks it takes to get to my house and reluctantly turn the knob. The overwhelming smell of cigarettes and alcohol wafts in my face as I scan the area. I let out a sigh of relief when I realize Spirit is not home. I check my watch and see it is now 2:30. I run up the stairs and step into my barren room. A small twin sized bed in a rusty frame sits in the corner of the room with a matching miniature desk with a dining room chair placed beside it. I place my bag on the floor, close the door and sit on the bed. Closing my eyes and imagining the black I see to become my reality. Feeling my chest rise and lower till I can count how many beats per minute. When I hear the door of my bedroom creak open my heart speeds up. Until I am no longer seeing the peaceful black but my papa standing in the doorway with a cynical smile.

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I had started cutting a year into the suffering and soon it became an addiction. It had come to the point where I would smile at times through the day just by the thought of the cold blade. This pain worked as a tool where it would take my mind off of something much much worse. If I could endure this, I would be able to get stronger. I would go home every Friday, take it, then cut.

Today was Friday but I had no intention to cut today. I was through with it and didn't want to feel anything anymore. In the morning I swiped my fathers' pills and shoved them in my backpack. Went to school as if it was a normal day and there was no change. Each teacher would ask me if I was okay or sick, because I looked pale. I did my homework in free period and skipped lunch, so no one would see how I would eat nothing and sit alone again. Same old. Last period was biology and my eyes were brighter then normal. The teacher grinned at me and said

"Maka, you sure are in a good mood today, have anything planned after school". I stared at her and relaxed my face and simply nodded.

...

The bell rang, and I stared at the ground as I walked. The rules say no student who isn't enrolled in extracurricular activities should be on campus after hours. Today is my first day breaking a school rule. I picked the nicest bathroom in school and waltzed in the happiest I have ever been.

It was this moment where I was in control and I was leading my own path for the first time. It had occurred to me that by tomorrow morning one lucky student would see my body in here and have a difficult choice to make. To leave me here or tell someone. And I think of it as a sort of revenge for those who never saw the invisible girl before, were going to see her now.

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**Hope you guys like it! Have an incredible day!... ps. Sorry to make spirit all bad and such a terrible person, he's really one of my favorite characters (then again all of them are my favorite) anyway thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2: Deeper Breath

**ENJOY:)  
I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER  
**

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Chapter 2: Deeper Breath

I open my eyes to a white room. With lights so bright I thought I was in heaven, but as things went less fuzzy it became clear that I was shot back down to hell again. Tears weld in my eyes at the thought of the failure to succeed in my task. Everything is numb when I see my first human in this bizarre place. Stitches engrained in his clothes and skin. And a nail poking out of his head. At first, all I hear is muffled voices and I can slowly make out his words. "Hello, Maka, my name is Doctor Stein and I have been taking care of you. I sit up and I can feel my muscles tighten more with each movement. I'm wearing a white hospital gown and I cry out in the pain I feel in my wrists, which are bandaged up neatly. Another hit of realization comes to me, as I stare down at them. He has seen my scars and knows too much. And then I concluded as to what happened yesterday. I finally snapped.

It is the second day inside the hospital and coincidently my second session with Dr. Stein to explain my injuries. Spirit is next to me and staring daggers through my head. But I remain staring straight ahead. I've been tuning them out, but I think a question was asked.

"What?"

"Maka, I just asked, what do you think the reason was for what you did the other day?" I make eye contact for a millisecond and let my eyes fall.

"I... I..." I steal a glance at papa and his eyes are screaming profanity at me. "I don't know."

"Well Maka, given the cuts on your arms and legs, there must have been some reason?... But, if you do not want to answer that question I have a few other things in mind, but I am going to have to ask your father to leave, is that okay?" I slowly nod and examine the repetitive pattern in the monotone carpet.

"I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE TO LEAVE! SHE IS MY DAUGHTER WHATEVER SHE HAS TO SAY CAN BE SAID IN FRONT OF ME!"

"Spirit if you wouldn't mind, I do not want to have to ask you again" Stein said in a more commanding tone. "Fuck...You know what, fine. You can deal with that crazy thing!"

Papa leaves and there's an awkward silence between Dr. Stein and I.

"Now Maka, I have a few basic questions about your living arrangements." I nod "Where does your mother live"

"She's dead."

"...Oh, I'm so sorry... Umm, did this take part in the reason for your attempt?"

"..."

" Maka I need you to cooperate, I hate to tell you this but I want to get a little deeper with you, in what were discussing" "Does your father drink alcohol or do drugs of any kind?" I look up at him and slightly nod. He begins writing on his clipboard, and I immediately regret my words. "okay, does he abuse you due to the cause of alcohol or drugs?" I just stare at the ground. "Before you answer, I just want to let you know that, it is okay if you tell me. You will be safe. I'm just trying to help you."

*More silence*

"One more time, does Spirit abuse you in any way?" His voice gets sterner and I wince

I glance down at the bruises trailing up my arms and fear is written all over my face.

"Maka, answer me" His voice softens again

I shut my eyes and slowly exhale "... y... yes"

.

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.

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"Everything is going to be okay"- this is a phrase I hate hearing. People never ask themselves "What if it isn't going to be okay?" or "Things aren't going your way right now." People suck...

.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Marie and I am going to be your therapist"

"hello"

"First things first, welcome to the DWMA, the Mental institution for people with mental disabilities and illnesses"

"..."

"This is where you will be staying, until we feel you are able to withstand the outside world" She gives a small chuckle.

I don't respond. I look at the building in front of me and sigh. I want to cry but I feel like I've ran out of things to cry about. Like I've reached my limit.

The building is I'd say about 5 stories high and it really plays into the stereotypical insane asylum look. I smile to myself at the resemblance and look at window to see red eyes meet mine. My smile disappears as I take in the boy who is looking at me like a math problem, difficult to understand. He quickly turns away and is out of sight in a flash.

"Maka? Are you ready to come in now, we don't have all day you know?"

I'm brought back to reality and I pick up my suitcase and plaster the lifeless face on, catching up to Dr. Marie. Turning back to breathe in freedom I thought I would never get again, much like the day I took my life.

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**HOPE YOU LIKE IT LET ME KNOW!**


	3. Chapter 3: Smiles

**So I don't own soul eater **  
**I like how this story keeps surprising me, like it has a mind of its own, even though its me who's writing it, you know what I mean lol.**

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Chapter 3: Smiles

One step

Two steps

Three ste...

"Maka"

I look up and realized I zoned out again. I like counting steps. It calms me, makes me feel powerful knowing how far I'm going.

"If you just hand me your suitcase, here is where you will be staying" she gestures in the direction of a plain room with painfully white walls and a neatly fixed bed with a nightstand next to it. Upon entering it I see the small closet on the left side made from what appeared to be a rotted wood. From closer examination I see there are no hangers and when I turn to ask Nygus about it, I see her rummaging through my bag on the bed with clothes everywhere.

"Hey! What are you doing?!"I say grabbing some of my underwear and trying to hide my not so impressive bras.

"I'm sorry Maka, it's just procedure" she says as she takes away my razors, shoelaces and anything I could possibly self-harm myself with. Heat builds up in my face and I feel enraged watching her invade my personal belongings. After she finished, I felt the sudden urge to yell at her, but by doing so I would give them more reason to keep me here longer than necessary. If I have them thinking I am better I will be able to leave and finish what I started last week. So I relax and put on a pleasant smile.

"You know you don't have to do that right?"

"Do what?" I frown

"Smile, just because you think it will please us"

I look at her bewildered "I... I'm smiling because... becau"

"- Your smiling because you think it will help you get out of here without being completely healthy. You are a smart girl, but I don't think you should underestimate someone who works with people who have the same goal. Trying to pretend is not a valid reason to smile. A proper one would be because you're excited or laughing or your genuinely happy. And two seconds ago you were angry with me for going through your stuff so, I don't believe whatever you are going to say your reason is." I was left without words and completely withdrawn from that sudden burst of honesty.

"oh..."

"Okay! Now here is your schedule for the rest of the day, and you must follow corrodingly, if you have a problem with anything or have questions you can always ask another patient, staff member and of course me. You have about thirty minutes till lunch so you can use that time to unpack and make this room feel more like home. Bye Bye now" She said with the utmost enthusiasm and a smile as she walked out. I peer down at my schedule.

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Maka Albarn's Schedule:

7:00-8:30 ~ Wake up call/Showers

8:30-9:30 ~ Breakfast

9:30-12:00 ~ Free Time

12:00-1:00 ~ Lunch

1:00-2:00 ~ Group Therapy

2:00-3:00 ~ Outdoors Activities

3:00-4:00 ~ Private Session

4:00-5:00 ~ Arts

5:00-6:30 ~ Free Time

6:30- 7:30 ~ Dinner

7:30- 9:30 ~ Free Time

9:30-10:00 ~ Curfew/ Lights out

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Stepping into the dining hall felt like school again and the overwhelming feeling of where to sit itched at my skin as I went to grab a tray.

"Ummm... Hello. Ar..e you Mak..a? Are you N..ew?" Said a tall girl with raven colored hair slicked back into a high pony tail and who was dressed in matching monotone color pants and shirt much like everyone else in the room. I suddenly felt self conscious about being dressed in street clothes cause I stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Yeah? Is it that obvious?" I replied back. She let out a big sigh of relief and straightened up a bit. Like she was scared of me before.

"Oh good, I'm Tsubaki and Dr. Marie told me to ke..ep an eye on you and I was wonde..ring if you wanted to eat lu..nch with me and my fri..ends?" She says while pointing to a table with no one sitting at it. I guess this is a mental hospital and people have issues. So I just nod my head and go with whatever this obviously delusional girl is thinking. At least I won't be sitting alone, like I did in real school. As we sit down two kids slide into the seats across from us in a blink of an eye. They look like siblings except the younger one has shortish hair and looks very bright-eyed while the older one has longer hair and is very skinny.

"Hiya Tsubaki! Woah did you finally get a ghost friend like me!? Except she looks awfully real to be a ghost, doesn't she Liz?" The younger one is shouting in my face and I lean back frightened

"Hi, I'm Liz and this is my sister Patty" She says then noticing my fearful look. "Sorry she's kinda not right in the head as you can tell." She chuckles as she looks at Patty who is looking off into space while giggling. I smile at her wonderous mind and realize it is my turn to introduce myself.

"Oh, I am Maka and I'm new here" I hold my breath as I watch them and suddenly become very shy. I've never tried to make conversation before and I don't want them to think I am off-putting. Which is weird since I shouldn't care what they think given this is a Mental hospital. I poke my food which happens to be a sub sandwich and like a dummy I grabbed a fork and stabbed it. I look around for something to say when Tsubaki comes to the rescue.

"Yeah, Marie is having me show her around to..day and I thought she would want to meet the ga...ng." I look at her and start to think how many people are necessary to actually call yourself a gang. And as if on queue two boys slide into the table next to the sisters with their trays.

"Hello, I am Death the Kid. But you may call me Kid, you're Maka right?" I nod lightly and squint to see his black hair that has three white stripes on the side of it. How odd. Then he catches me staring and I quickly divert my attention to the other kid sat next to him. The guy chomping down on his food like an animal with his mouth open and with spiky electric blue hair. A look of disgust is plastered onto my face when he looks up and stops chewing.

"Is this the new kid?" He asks the rest of the group. Then he jumps on top of the table and everything shakes and I gasp at the sudden action.

" IT IS I, BLACKSTAR. WHO WILL SURPASS GOD HIMSELF, YOU SHOULD FEEL HONORED TO BE IN THE SAME ROOM WITH SOMEONE AS GREAT AS ME!" Then its like I can't stop myself and I know it's wrong but I feel a smile tugging at my lips and I go into a laughing fit. I try to calm myself down but it all seems unreal to me and now amusing. These people are beyond strange. Blackstar looks down at me and looks confused.

"Hey, uh why is she laughing?"

"Because your being ridiculous that's why" Says Liz, in a chilled voice, smiling.

"WELL, IF SHE IS LAUGING, SHE BETTER BE LAUGHING WITH ME!" Then he joins in my laughing fit which still hasn't come to an end even through their talking. Then everyone joins in and I can't even pin point why were laughing anymore but it just seems funny.

"Blackstar what the hell are you doing" A new voice, deeper and spine chilling echoes and my laughing stops along with the entire group.

"Hey! How's it going buddy!" I don't turn around but I know someone is staring at me.

"I'm doing good, now will you get off that damn table so I can eat." Blackstar jumps down and takes his seat next to kid again, chuckling.

The guy who was just a voice then slides in next to me and I look up to meet a pair of blood red eyes. The same ones I saw just an hour ago while entering the building. His eyes just as mesmerizing and hair which is a white spiky mess but still caters to his handsome looks and tan skin... I turn to him and his eyes fall on mine once more, with a questioning look, probably wondering my name.

"Maka" I say in a burst as though if I didn't say it I might forget it. And I mentally curse myself for not having good social skills. But not being that great at hiding my emotions I scrunched up my nose and gave a short "WTF" look. And again hate myself for showing such a weird side of me. Then the boy smiled, showing a dazzling set of sharp teeth in a lopsided grin, which not only seemed weird but made the boy that much more intriguing.

"Soul"

...

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**Make sure to leave a review, I'd love to know what you guys think so far, and what I can improve.**


	4. Chapter 4: Normal

**I'm especially proud for how this chapter came out, its hard capturing what they're feelings, but I'm trying to get better. I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER.**

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Chapter 4: Normal

The rest of lunch I stayed silent, I listened to their conversation and I might already know each of their disorders. Liz appears to be anorexic, telling by her refusal to eat the sandwich in front of her. Kid has a some sort of symmetrical OCD, with the order of his lunch and offering to fix my pigtails that were "unsymmetrical". Blackstar seems to have a god complex, he made that quite clear when he jumped on the table shouting. Patty looks to be bipolar, one minute she's laughing and the next she's kinda scary. Tsubaki, I think she has severe anxiety, with her stutter and shyness but to be honest she's really sweet and friendly, especially to Blackstar if you get what I'm saying. Then there's Soul. I have no idea what his disorder is, if I'm being honest he looks incredibly normal, despite the extreme sarcasm.

It's group therapy now, and I'm just following the crowd. I really don't want to be here, I'm fine and I don't want to talk about it with a big group of people. We walk into this room with a big circle of chairs in the middle, and everyone rushes to sit down and I'm starting to think it's like musical chairs. I find a seat next to Tsubaki and sit down staring at my feet. A kid I've never met before sits next to me and won't stop staring at me. Uncomfortable under his gaze I pray that he'll stop looking at me.

"Okay guys let's start with the group session. I understand today we have a new comer, so let's go around the circle and say a little about ourselves. It can go your name, illness you've been diagnosed with, and a little fact about you. Here I will start. My name is Dr. Sid, I'm a staff member and I like 2 sugars in my coffee."

The group laughs and the next person goes, and then the next. I was quite proud of myself for correctly identifying the gangs disorders. I lost interest and wasn't paying attention anymore until finally it was souls turn.

"Hi my name is Soul Evans, I do not feel comfortable with sharing my diagnosis, and I guess a fact about me is I enjoy the piano." I frown, I can't believe he didn't share his diagnosis! While considering all of the possible things wrong with him I realize everyone is staring at me. My face gets beet red and I look around.

"Umm... hi I'm Maka, I haven't been diagnosed with anything and I... I don't really have a fact about myself" I say as I twiddle my fingers.

"C'mon Maka there has to be a fact about yourself." Dr. Sid pushes.

"I guess... I don't know, I like to read." Silence for what feels like forever, and I hold my breath again. Did I really not have a diagnosis, I guess that means I'm the only sane one here. Thank god.

"Good okay, that concludes group therapy"

Everyone claps and starts standing up, I stay seated unknowing of what happens next and utterly confused. I pull out my schedule and read over it.

.

.

I'm supposed to head to my private session? Where is that?

"Do you need help, you seem confused" I look up and see Soul Evans standing in front of me with his hands in his pocket and looking down at me.

"No, I'm fine thanks" I say a bit too harshly and stand up to walk out.

"Hey, I was just asking cause you were making a weird face" He says defensively stepping in front of me.

"Oh great to know my face is weird thanks" I say walking, trying to get him out of my way.

"Here, you have your private sesh don't you?" He then grabs the paper out of my hand " right?"

"Ugh rude!" I snap back the paper. "And yes, how did you know?" I ask him with an eyebrow raised.

"Cause she's my doctor too, so I know her handwriting. C'mon I'll walk you there, or you'll be late" he says with a smirk. I debate whether I let him, but I guess it won't hurt.

"Fine"

.

.

"Soooo, you don't have a diagnosis?" He states making conversation.

"No, I'm normal, I don't have anything wrong with me" I try and sound more confident.

"Really? If that was true you wouldn't be in here, my guess is either they haven't gotten a chance to assess you yet or your in denial." He chuckles.

"Okay if that's how you want to play it, what's your diagnosis huh!?" I stare at him as we're walking.

"I said in the room I don't feel comfortable telling anyone. Just because I said that doesn't mean I don't have one." He retorts back.

"Whatever, just don't go telling me I'm not normal"

"Okay okay, sorry" we walk the rest of the way in silence.

"And here we are, 's room. Have fun" he begins to walk off.

"Hey!" I suddenly yell. Not knowing what's come over me. "Thank you" I muster up a smile and he looks back and winks.

.

.

.

.

I walk into Marie's room and it's surprisingly unorganized, considering how well put together a women she is.

"Ah Maka, how was the rest of your day so far" "Fine" I say abruptly

"So tell me have you made any friends?" I look at her with confused eyes.

"I've only been here for like 4 hours"

"Still any people that shout FRIENDSHIP at you?" She smiles

"No" She looks disappointed

"That's okay you have plenty of time to make friends, do you have any questions?" I think for a minute and begin to think about Soul said.

"Dr. Marie, am I normal?"

"What do you mean?" She asks squinting her eyes.

"What's my diagnosis, I feel incredibly sane compared to everyone else in this nuthouse." She looks down at notepad and writes down some notes.

"Maka I don't like giving the kids one single diagnosis like much of the other doctors here, because it makes it seems like the patient is identified by them"

"I don't care I just want to know mine, I have the right to know don't I" I say.

Marie sighs

"Maka you were diagnosed by the first day you were admitted into the hospital, you have clinical depression, and are at risk to yourself with suicidal thoughts. As well as major levels to social anxiety when you are with other people."

I look at her with no emotion and sit there for the rest of the meeting with no words being said.

"Maka you have Art, so you may go" I stand up and walk out in pain. For someone to tell me I have depression, and not expand or broaden on the proof she has or reason, it was an awful thing to do. Before I know it tears are streaming down my face and I'm just walking down the hall. I have no clue where Art class is held and I am in no shape or form to head there. I wander around until I find myself leaning against the wall and I slide down in a ball. Unsure of what to do with myself.

.

.

.

"MAKA! THE...RE YO..u are! We.. were worr..ied sick!" I snap my head up and see Tsubaki in front of me yelling.

"I'm sorry, I got lost" I say trying to sound like I hadn't been crying. Which is difficult given my face was probably as red as a tomato and I was sniffling like crazy.

"It's..s..s okay, are you alright? C'mon I told Mifune tha..t I would be back in five min..utes."

As we get to the classroom I see everyone at tables coloring something.

"Let's go sit." Tsubaki says pulls a seat next to Blackstar and I sit directly across from her. The chair next to me is vacant but has a paper on it with a sketch of a demon in a tux.

"Oh look who decided to join us" Behind me I hear a familiar voice one I could never forget.

Soul sits on the chair next to me and begins coloring in the demon on the paper with a red crayon.

"Hi" I sputter out. He looks up for a second and stares into my eyes. God his eyes, like two red Ruby's piercing me in the skull. And as if being snapped out of a trance he looks behind me and then shoots his head back to coloring. When I look behind me I see a man with overly long grey hair and a toothpick in his mouth.

"So you must be Maka" I nod

"I'm Mifune, I teach the drawing portion of this class. My colleague Justin teaches the music part. In which we rotate every so often. Here's a piece of paper, you can draw whatever comes to mind today. We call it a free draw." I look at the paper and hesitate before taking it. He walks away and I grab a pencil from the center of the table.

Drawing is another thing I like, I wouldn't say I'm a professional, but I'm adequate. But something is blocking me today, could it be what Dr. Marie said. I just sit there and have my pencil resting on the paper waiting to be used.

"Five minutes left!" Mifune yells. I flinch and look over at Tsubakis picture, it's of a beautiful Camilia Flower. And next to it I switch to black stars paper which is just riddled with his signature. I pick up the pencil again and let my feelings pour out with the three minutes left in class. When I'm done I look and see that it's a giant puddle of water with water being dropped in slowly from a closed faucet.

"WOAH MAKA! That look really good! But not better than mine!" Blackstar screeches smugly. I fight the urge to punch him and just look back at the picture.

"Blackstar your's is just your signature written over and over, right?" Squeaks Tsubaki.

"YEAH, that's what makes it so amazing" He says ignorantly with a laugh.

"That doesn't make it better than Maka's, stop being rude, and apologize" Soul says to my defense with his focus still on his coloring. I begin to blush and hope to god no one sees it.

"PSSH, I'm sorry Maka" Blackstar says in a bored voice. I know he doesn't mean it, but I'm still glad he said it.

"OKAY GUYS FREE TIME!"

"YAY!" Patty screams across the room

People begin to leave and I'm about to crumble up my paper when Soul stops my hand and says, "What are you doing?"

"Throwing it away, it's trash" I say matter of factly

"No it's not, it's really good. Keep it, you'll want it to remember your first day here"

"I guess" I shove it in my pocket. I stand and walk to the door.

...

"How'd your session with Marie go?" I stop and tense up.

"It was fine"

"Really? Cause you don't seem fine"

"I am" and I put on a fake smile and walk out.

I am normal...

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**Thought it would be cool to give them all their own diagnosis, tell me if you think I'm right about them ;)**


	5. Chapter 5: Goodnight

**Do not own soul eater **

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Chapter 5: Goodnight

The rest of the day was a blur, I found my way to the library and brought two books back to my room, read for most of the evening and went to dinner. Dinner was the same as lunch, I didn't talk very much and ate very little. The best part was no one asked me questions, I guess they realized I needed space. The rest of the night was spent in my room, I was on my bed reading a book called "Delirium" by Lauren Oliver. (Recommending this book trilogy to you guys, its incredible) when there was a knock at my door.

"Hello?" I sit up in the bed and wait till the door creaks open. And that's when I see Soul enter my room, and I begin to freak out.

"Hey, I was uh wondering if you wanted to get out of the room for a little bit and come hangout with the gang. We're all going to Kid's room to play some games." He's rubbing the back of his neck and looks very eager to know the answer.

"umm... what are you guys going to be playing?" I say kind of taken aback from the fact a boy is in my room. He looks at me funny and his demeanor changes in a second.

" How should I know? We didn't plan anything, when you hangout it sort of just comes to you when your there." He stares at me questioningly.

"Oh I wouldn't know I've never hung out with anyone before" I say before I could think my words.

"What, why?" My face obviously shows how embarrassed I am and I fidget with my fingers a little bit.

"I don't know, I wasn't allowed to go to anyone's house or have anyone over"

I say again too fast for me to realize my words. Why am I being so honest, I shouldn't be saying this stuff, it's too personal. But I feel like I can trust him, and it's not because he's good looking. Oh CRAP! Did I really just think that! Nope, no, nu uh, not a chance. I didn't mean it like that! I look up and I see he hasn't said anything in a while, did he leave? He looks as though he's still listening to someone talk.

"Well more reason to join us then." I pause and I'm surprised at his words.

"Come on then, we don't want to be late" He puts out his hand for me and I take it. And he starts leading me to Kid's room I'm guessing.

"By the way, how did you know which room was mine?" I try and keep up as he's walking.

"Your door is the only one not decorated." He says with a grin. "You should decorate it, so other people know how to find you."

.

"You found me, didn't you" I say with a short laugh. He stops a minute and just looks at me seriously. I look down and realize he's been holding my hand the whole way here, and my mind panics. I know he was leading me but my heart is pounding too hard. And in the moment of locking eyes, I pull my hand away and pretend to be fixing my shirt.

.

"Well here we are, your first official playdate." He smiles. Motioning to the door.

"Ladies first" I say opening the door wide.

"Ha ha... very funny" he says sarcastically. I walk in slowly after him and see how neat and clean Kid's room is. It's almost exactly how my room was when I walked in. But his bed is in the center and anything on one side of the room is exactly in place on the other side.

"Hey Soul! Hey Maka!" Kid says welcoming us. Everyone is already here and smiling at us. We go in and take a seat on the bed.

"OKAY EVERYONE! Enough playing around let's get to some intense games." Blackstar shouts.

"Shhhhh! We don't want to get yelled at for being too loud Blackstar." Liz says in a whisper.

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I wonder what games we'll play? I read in books about games like seven minutes in heaven and spin the bottle. I pray to god that we won't even mention those games. I cross my fingers.

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"What do y...ou want to pl...ay Blackstar?" Tsubaki whispers out.

Blackstar puts his hand on his chin and pretends to think really hard. Though it seemed like he already had it picked out.

"LETS PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!" Blackstar stands up and waits to be praised.

"Shhhhh! Blackstar be quiet!" His moment of glory, ruined by Liz.

"Sounds good Blackstar" Soul suddenly joins in.

"IS everyone Okay with THAT!" Patty shouts and whispers mid sentence.

"Yup, I am" declares Tsubaki.

"Sounds superb" Kid says as he's dusting off his nightstand.

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They all look at me.

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"Sure, sounds good." I say and it feels weird to hear me talk, and I know they feel it too.

"I WANT TO GO FIRST!" Blackstar still isn't whispering and Liz rolls her eyes.

"Okay blackstar truth or dare" Liz steps up.

"Dare, obviously"

"I dare you to go up to Sid and tell him to suck on your toes" Everyone laughs besides Blackstar.

"WHAT!? WHY TOES?!" He looks mortified. Liz shrugs and points out the door. We watch him leave and hear at the bottom of the hallway Sid yelling at him to go back to his dorm and stop asking for weird stuff. He walks in and bows and we all begin to clap. Blackstar sits back down and looks around at us to choose who he's going to ask.

"TSUBAKI! Truth or dare?" Tsubaki looks excited.

"Truth" Blackstar, doesn't even think and blurts out.

"Do you like anyone at the hospital!" I sink down and wonder if that's how all truths are going to work. Soul leans towards me and whispers in my ear.

"Blackstar thinks he's being super sneaky about liking Tsubaki huh?" I giggle and turn my attention to Tsubaki.

"Yes" Everyone gasps and Blackstar looks like he's about to explode.

"WHO!?"

Kid looks at him "Blackstar, only one question, that's the rules." Blackstar burns out like a candle and looks disappointed. Meanwhile Tsubaki is blushing like crazy. Then she turns and looks at me, oh no.

"Maka, truth or dare?" I'm panicking again, I don't know what to choose.

"Truth"

"If you had to date one boy in this room, who would it be." Now I'm silently wishing I chose dare.

"What! Ummm... I don't know!"

"C'MON MAKA! Kid, Blackstar, or Soul. It's not that DIFFICULT!" Patty says.

"Just because you say this doesn't mean you like them, just if it was a life or death situation, who would you choose?" Liz starts laughing.

"MAKA CHOOSE SOUL!" Blackstar yells

"No fair, blackstar don't tell her who to choose, let her decide." Says Patty .I begin to blush and I look at Soul who is also blushing. Everyone is talking over everyone

"SHE should CHOOSE KID! Look at his room! SO SPARKLY"

"Or maybe Blackstar." Liz states

"WHAT!? N..o...o no, I don't see them together" Tsubaki chimes in shyly

"FINE! I choose Soul" Everyone is silent. And I know my face is probably sooo, red. I don't even dare to look at soul right now.

"YAYYY! Maka would date soul" Patty exclaims, breaking the silence.

"Wait no that's not what it was. You said if I HAD TO right? That's what she said. She said that right, she did." My face is getting increasingly hotter.

"Ha it's fine Maka, it was just a truth" Souls voice interrupts.

"Okay Maka it's your turn to ask someone" Liz points out." I look around again and I think it would be fun to mess with kid sooo...

"Kid, truth or dare?"

" Well no one has chosen dare, and choosing different things is what keeps the game interesting sooo... Dare"

"I dare you to not clean up the room after we leave tonight and keep it unclean until tomorrow morning" I'm so surprised with myself but at the same time oddly proud. But I see Kid's face turn into mush.

"Woah! Good one Maka!" Liz and everyone starts laughing. I smile the brightest I have every smiled before. But Kid looks horrified.

"Sorry Kid, those are the rules" Soul chuckled.

"Fine, I will... do it"

"I guess we underestimated Maka" laughs Tsubaki.

"Soul? Truth or Dare?"

"Dare"

I dare you to streak down the hallway." Souls face went from pleasant to just plain annoyed. He then stands up and takes his shirt off. I notice right away the scar leading from the top right diagonally to the left bottom side of his torso. I wonder how he got that scar.

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"WOAH, he's Actually DOING it!" Patty looks on in wonder.

Tsubaki leans next to me and whispers, "Good choice Maka" My mouth gapes open from her comment, "I didn't mean it like that!" Everyone stares at me and Tsubaki explodes with the laughter. I'm blushing again. Darn it! Then the unthinkable happens, Soul pulls his pants down and runs out into the hallway. We don't hear anything, until a loud Sid starts yelling.

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"SOUL, WHERE ARE YOUR CLOTHES?!" This time, the group can't be quiet and break out into a laughter louder than any other.

"OKAY THAT'S IT! PARTY'S OVER! EVRERYONE OUT OF KID'S ROOM NOW!" We all hurry out into the dark hallway and say goodbye.

"Oh Kid, don't forget your dare" Liz turns on her heel to her and Patty's room. Kid looks into his room and seems like he's about to cry.

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As I try remembering the way to my room, nothing looks familiar. It's been a full twenty minutes when I come to the conclusion that I am lost. Then I hear shuffling behind me... The darkness doesn't help me to see what's behind me but I stop and freeze and slowly turn around. I see a dark figure and my body doesn't move. The shadow getting larger as it gets closer. In the back of my mind I fear it is my father coming back for revenge. I hear my heart beating so loudly I just want it to stop altogether. I take a step back and almost trip on myself. I shut my eyes.

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"PPPSSTTT! Earth to Maka! Did you hear me? I need to borrow a blanket, Sid took my pillow and sheets as punishment for streaking." I blink back to reality.

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"GOD! You scared the crap out of me!" I loudly whisper. I let out a sigh of relief.

"It's not my fault I was dared to do this, now hurry up!" He says harshly but still in a whisper. Its almost curfew. I finally find my room and grab the extra blankets from the side dresser and hand them to him. And that's when I realize he only has boxers on. Oh god.

"Soul?"

"Yeah?"

"Where are your clothes?"

"This is how I sleep" He shrugs

"Oh...okay." I look off in the distant to distract myself when he sits down next to me. I'm so put off I can feel my eyes grow wider.

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"Do you want to talk about your meeting with Dr. Marie?" I'm so put off by the question I think about taking a spit take without the water.

"Umm, how do you know I was upset about that."

"Well Tsubaki said she saw you crying in a corner when she found you. And your eyes were kinda puffy when you walked into Arts class.

"Oh... yeah... I..uh... got my diagnosis today." his head shoots up.

"Yeah? And what about it?"

" It's just... she didn't talk to me after and it made me feel weird and neglected. I don't know how someone should react to finding out they are different from how they imagined." I begin to choke up. He starts to rub his hand on my back and I flinch from the contact. The tears flood and I don't think I can bear it.

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" I don't want to live anymore" I throw myself into his arms and don't care if I've only known him for half a day, I need someone to listen for once.

"Was it so wrong for me to want to die! I had nothing to live for, and so then they lock me up here! It's my body! How could I go on living knowing what was coming everyday!" I'm just sobbing now. Not making any sense between the sniffling and cries.

"Maka... you have to stop thinking like that, you are here to get better and stronger, people care about you. Give Marie a chance she can be very helpful and she can listen to what you have to say. " It stays quiet for five minutes and I pull back. Sniffling and trying to push my tears away.

"I'm sorry Soul, but I think I need to be alone right now." He looks hurt but I think he understands. He stands up and walks toward the door stopping to look back.

"Goodnight Maka"

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	6. Chapter 6: Seeing Black

**Finally finished uploading all of my completed chapters, so it might be a little while till I update again (maybe tomorrow, depending on how much I'll get done) but anyway, hope you enjoy, not really my favorite chapter but it will progress more ;) **

**I do not own Soul Eater**

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Chapter 6: Seeing Black

The first night I didn't sleep not a wink, it brought back memories of having to share the bed with spirit when he found other ways to get pleasure rather than alcohol. I stare at the ceiling till light flutters in through the window and I can't help but wonder what happens next. I hear a knock at the door and I recoil backwards.

"Wakeup call! Maka Albarn!"

I stand up and open the door slowly. I see many other patients outside of their doors getting medicine from a nurse in front of them. I even see some of the gang, I didn't know their rooms were so close.

"Hello?"

"Here you go Maka, some medicine your doctor prescribed and some of the hospital's clothing that you are required to wear." I get handed what looks like overly large pastel scrubs. As well as a cup with two pills in it. The nurse in front of me has eyes bright green, that even resemble a snake. If she opened her mouth and wider I'd swear I could see a fork in her tongue.

"What are these?"

"Just take them Ms. Albarn, they're supposed to help with your illness"

"I don't think I can take these, I am very much interested as to what goes into my body so if you could please tell me what these are. Then I would still like to take time to question there use." I know I sound snobby, but I am not taking these pills, if it is the last thing I do. The nurse looks at me irritated and gives me a stern look.

"Ms. Albarn, I do not want to have to use force so just take the pills and we can both be on with our day." She smiles at the end and her voice is getting louder and people turn over to look at us.

"No, I will not ingest something I do not know of." I match her volume and tone.

"You will!"

"No I will not!"

"Yes!"

"NO."

"YES!"

"NO!"

"SID AND NYGUS PLEASE TAKE MS. ALBARN TO ROOM 11, SHE IS REFUSING TO TAKE HER MEDICATION!" Sid and Nygus come and grab me by the arms and I drop the clothing along with the pills.

"Hey! Wait! Stop! I didn't do anything!" They begin to drag me and I'm struggling to get free from their grasp.

"Stop" They stop and look over to see Dr. Marie standing with her hands on her hips with an irritated expression.

"Let her go, what on earth do you think you are doing?"

"She is refusing to take medicine" pushes the nurse.

"If a patient refuses medication we never use room 11 as an option, you of all people should know that Nurse Medusa. Release her this instant." They let go of me and I feel the pain in my already broken wrist. "Medusa you will take the rest of the day off."

"BUT!..."

"No butts, you need some time to think about how to handle patients without your anger getting in the way."

"BUT MAM, SHE WAS BEING CLEARLY INSUBORDINATE!"

"Make that two days"

"MARIE... I... GAAHHH!" The nurse leaves steaming with frustration.

"And you two, know better than to follow the orders of someone in her condition."

"We were only following the orders of our superior, I am sorry mam, please forgive us"

"Alright, take over her medicine shift and get Ms. Albarn back to her dorm with her clothes" They pick up my clothes that I had dropped and they walk over. Sid extends his hand out and I stare at it confused.

"Please Ms. Albarn, we apologize, we didn't mean to scare you" He says with sad eyes.

"Yeah, come on we will escort you back with no force" Nygus says adding on.

I take Sid's hand and he picks me up off of the floor, with much more grace then when he was dragging me. I look around and see the other patients looking at us mortified and taken aback. I look down and try not to make eye contact as we walk away from Dr. Marie.

"Oh and Maka...meet me after breakfast, we need to talk."

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At breakfast I don't eat a thing and I can see the worry in Tsubakis eyes but I brush it off. I have this feeling of not caring. Like the world is just made of grey and black. The dullness around me makes me sleepy and I have no care of my feelings or others. I want to crawl into bed and never wake up, is that too much to ask? I get up and begin gathering my trash and head to the garbage when a certain albino walks up besides me. He's got on matching scrub like clothes with a tint of blue that is almost identical to mine. It makes me feel comfortable to finally not be the odd man out and blend in. But who am I kidding these kids are all odd.

"So, I heard about your little encounter with Nurse Medusa this morning." He says with a smile, as he walks next to me.

"… didn't know you were keeping tabs on me." I grind my teeth.

"And I didn't know you were so ballsy as to almost get sent to room 11." He stops walking, grabs onto my elbow and changes his demeanor to a more serious tone. "I'm not kidding Maka, don't do something stupid like that again, you don't want to get sent there."

I pull back my arm, " I'm not stupid, and I don't need someone looking out for me. I can take care of myself!" I start to walk away, knowing I was harsh but I could care less at the moment.

"Do you even know what room 11 is?!" I don't turn around and stop in my tracks. And I simply shake my head.

"A bad place… A place where the walls are so black that it feels like your eyes are closed when theyre open. A place where the lights don't work, and your strapped in a chair for days and your not fed till your stable… Its somewhere, the doctors put you, if you're a hazard to yourself and others. You come out looking shrivled up and on your last breath because you haven't had a glass of water in weeks. A girl once came out with her eyes gauged out because she couldn't see. Please don't do anything stupid." And he was gone. Walked off to join lunch with the gang.

"So Maka, I would like to apologies to you. I said somethings that shouldn't have been said the way they were. And for that I truly am sorry. But, I would like to make it clear that the reason I didn't go further with discussing your illness was because I believe self recognition is the first step to recovery. And by saying that I mean you yourself need to accept the fact that you are not a normal teenager anymore, and you have to overcome your fears and face the problems you are having." I stare at the tile floor and don't say anything. Shocked from the amount of confrontation and bluntness of her spoken words.

"…alright…" Is all I mutter out.

"Maka, I am canceling your private lesson today and I'm asking you to use that time to do a special assignment for me." She smiles

"…okay…"

"The assignment is to do something you enjoy doing, and try to let some happiness fill the rest of your day."

"…something I enjoy doing? I don't know I read sometimes and I study."

"No, I mean something that makes you happy… talking to someone, wandering around, eating, painting?"

"okay, I guess I can handle that." I gather my stuff to leave.

"Oh, and tomorrow I want to hear about it."

.

I cringe from the thought of having to prepare a short speech as of my actions today.

I nod my head and step out of the office. The door shuts and I take 3 steps when everything gets dizzy. The hallway is spinning now, the windows upside-down and the ceiling on the ground. Then I see black.

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**Tell me if you like it so far xD**


	7. Chapter 7: Walls

**I really like this chapter! Dived into different characters and felt that, Maka bonded with different people, and i'm happy how its turning out XD**

**I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER **

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Chapter 7: Walls

Another white room, Deja vu. I have a searing headache and a similar pain in my broken wrist. As I lift my head up I look to my right to see a familiar symmetrical face.

"Maka! Thank death you're okay!"

"Kid?" I look around. "What happened?" I groan

"Well, you passed out and I found you. You hit your head pretty hard when you went down, and you also landed on your bad wrist." I lift my hand to my head and feel a large bump on the side.

"Where am I?"

"The infirmary. I kind of freaked out when I saw you lying on the floor." I blink super hard to regain focus.

"… what time is it…" The fluorescent lights now blinding me and making the headache worse.

"Just 10 minutes before curfew. Marie had to leave for the day, but she told me to tell you not to worry, tomorrow is a free day for you, and not to think about your assignment. She said she'll meet with you at a time of your choosing. Although I made it very apparent to her that you should be waking up at regular time and suggested 8:00 would be perfect."

"Sooo… were meeting at 8:00? "

"It was suggested, and she agreed."

"Sooo… I don't get to choose the time?" His search for perfection usually irritates me, but right now his need for symmetry doesn't seem like his only problem.

"Great! 8:00 it is. Also, I hope you didn't mind I took the liberty in straightening out this room for you." I look around and everything is exact and opposite to the other side. "Oh, and excuse me…" He then leans forward and starts to undo my messy and loose pigtails.

"Umm… kid?..." He continues and has this look of determination. Now he's leaning on my broken wrist and I wince.

"ow!... can you stop… Kid?... KID!" I push him off and he jolts back. He sits back in his chair and stares at me, breathing heavily. He begins to count out loud backwards from 10.

…

"look, sorry… I'm sorry. I've been trying to control myself lately and I don't know what's wrong with me. It goes good for a while, and then its like I don't know, I get these emotions and then this feeling in me just rises and I don't know how to control it. "

"It's okay… I guess I understand what you are going through a little."

"Is that why you're in the hospital?"

"…I shouldn't be here. I wasn't supposed to end up in this place anyway." I fidget with the cotton sheets on the elevated bed.

"Well everyone has a reason for being here, maybe you need to find yours. Maybe after some time you won't go passing out everywhere. " He snickers a little.

" Oh, that reminds me, can you explain why I passed out in the first place?" He looks up at me apologetically.

"Well, the doctor had said that you had a small panic attack"

"Oh"

"What happened that made you have a panic attack?"

"nothing" I lied. I was worked up about the assignment, but I didn't think enough so that I would have passed out.

Maybe that's why Marie, had said to forget about it and not to worry. Did she know? Did she know that was the reason for stress? I put my face in my pillow and sigh loudly. When I finally look up Kids staring at me again.

"Okay, I better head to my room, curfew is in like 5 minutes and I need to get exactly 8 hours of sleep, and I need to prep myself before bed. If you'll excuse me." As he's exiting the room I use all of my energy to try and be social for once, " See ya tomorrow" And I flash a quick smile.

I'm not sure if it was genuine, but I wouldn't normally do that so it's a plus, right?

Once he leaves the room gets very dark, even though the lights are still on. Still, the quiet comforts me. I like being alone. I don't have to try so hard to fit in or make conversation. I can just stare of into nothingness and not say a word. Then I am whisked into a dreamless sleep.

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I wake up to the sound of Dr. Stein changing the trash bin in the room. There is also a medical cart in the room, similar to the one Dr. Medusa had yesterday.

"Sorry to wake you, but given you are already awake. I need you to take your medication now. And you are not going to resist because it is to help you get better. For the headache, wrist pain, and your illness."

"I don't have an illness…"

"Really Maka? Cause it seemed you just past out due to a panic attack about an assignment, and you did try to commit suicide not only 3 days ago. And you can't forget that I know you are suffering from severe depression and social anxiety. You shouldn't lie to your doctor." He chuckles a little.

"I'm not lying. The passing out was a onetime thing. I do not have social anxiety; I talk to people just fine. And I'm happy so I can't have depression."

"Really, you're happy?" His amused face is annoying me.

"Yes."

"About what?"

"None of your business." I can't make eye contact.

"I told you not to lie to me Maka… But have it your way, just take your pills please." He sighs, as if I'm the irritating one. He holds 3 pills out to me in one hand and the other with water. I contemplate for a while, but if I'm being honest my head and wrist do really hurt. So I take them one by one and he watches me very carefully. Then asks me to open my mouth and checks under my tongue as well.

"Good. So, you can get up and head back to your room whenever you feel well enough and you have a free day. Meaning you can do whatever you feel, although I know you have a meeting with Dr. Marie. I'm not sure the time thou…"

"8:00" I interrupt as I get up from the bed.

"Oh right, then you have about 30 minutes then. After if you want to head to breakfast that is totally up to you, even though we do encourage it. If not, you can head to eat at whatever time. We will have something prepared for you. And since I know eating with a lot of people may overwhelm you, it might be a better option." I look at him in an instant and I see the same man who helped me get away from my father. The one who has seen my scars and a stare in wonder.

"Thank you" I say and exit the room. Leaving Stein baffled by the sudden words that escaped my mouth.

"Your welcome"

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As I enter Dr. Marie's room I see it has gotten messier since the last time. These meetings are always awkward and honestly have no purpose.

"Hiya Maka. Please sit." I take a seat and she fixes the papers on her desk into a small clump. She then grabs her notepad and immediately begins jotting things down. Which is strange considering we haven't even started our session yet.

"So, how was your day so far?"

"…It was fine…" I squint tat her as to look for a reason she's starting off with such small chit chat.

"That's nice, did you take your pills this morning."

"Yes"

"That's nice, what made you take them today?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well yesterday you seemed to insist that you weren't going to be taking them."

"… I don't know… I guess, I thought I needed them for the pain in my head and wrist."

"Ahh. You are very intelligent Maka. You would have been at the top of your class if you weren't absent so much. So, the reason you took the pills was because you knew that it would benefit you in some way, correct?"

"Yes?"

"But, you still don't believe you need them for your illness. Correct?"

"I… I guess"

"I know you don't like me very much Maka. And I believe it's because I tell you how it is, without sugar coating the fact that you need help. See, the difference between me and most doctors is that I tell my patients my plans in order for them to get better. But for me to do that, I need to break through your wall." Again, her bluntness gives me shivers. "So let me tell you my plans, I need you to snap out of your denial so we can begin discussing your improvements. For example giving you small, non-stressful homework for you to do once a day. Or coping mechanisms to work on your anxiety. All the other kids in the hospital, though they may not seem like it, are doing things like this on a daily. "

I start to think back to what kid said last night "It goes good for a while, and then its like I don't know, I get these emotions and then this feeling in me just rises and I don't know how to control it. "

Dr. Marie stops talking for about 10 minutes and jots things down so quickly I'm wondering how legible it could be.

She looks back up and catches me watching her.

"So… for you to break through your wall Maka, I need you to look me in the eyes and tell me your diagnosis."

I gulp. How could she ask me to do that? I can't. I begin breathing faster and sweating an abundance.

"What?" I gasp

"It's okay Maka, breathe… You can choose when you feel you are ready. Although you need to do it before our lesson is up. It only has to be one time, and we can sit in silence for however long you'd like but I need you to look me in the eyes when you say it. " I catch my breath, but it is still hitched a tad bit. I look around and can barely focus. I can not do it.

"Treat it as a group session… I am Maka Albarn and my diagnosis is... blank blank blank."

"I can't"

"Yes you can, you are capable of so many things and you will not let this get in the way of your future. This can't be your anchor, it will be the push you need to propel into your aging life." Her use of metaphors, while confuses me, is oddly comforting.

I wait for about 20 more minutes when it finally slips out. I look up, and peer into her eyes which are focused on her notepad. As I inhale she glances up and puts down her pen.

"I am… Maka Albarn…" I take another intake of air and continue, "… and my diagnosis is…" Marie nods her head, edging me on.

"is… severe depression and social anxiety"

Dr. Marie smiles at me and looks relieved.

"Hi Maka"

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**Comment!**


	8. Chapter 8: Friends?

**So much love for this chapter, Soul makes me sooo freaking happy ;)**

**I do not own soul eater**

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Chapter 8: Friends?

By the time I get out of my session, it's 9:00… there's 30 minutes of breakfast still. I don't go. I think I need time to process this. This feeling that something really is wrong with me.

I go to my room and lie down.

The ceiling is much more interesting then given credit to. The gentle slopes and ridges, give it an almost pattern like paint job, even though I am sure it was painted diagonally. The clock on my night table read 9:07 and I shut my eyes slowly.

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I wake up quickly to a loud thump at my door. I check the alarm and see it says 10:35… Jesus, I slept all that time?

I rub my face and stretch out as far as I can when the thumps at the door turn into knocks.

I hear people shushing

a slapping sound

…and then a grunt.

So I open the door to see the gang.

Shocked and surprised, I see Blackstar on the floor holding his face and glaring at Liz, and Liz who is pretending nothing happened. Meanwhile Tsubaki next to Blackstar on the floor asking him repeatedly if he's alright.

Patty is riding piggy back and pulling at Kids hair and screaming "WHY IS this PART WHITE!?" as loud as she can, which can be classified as danger to bursting an eardrum. To be expected, Kid is crying. Then there is Soul who is trying to use all the strength he has to pull Patty off of him.

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I gaze at them wondrously and try to understand what on earth is happening.

They all turn and look at me simultaneously and yell "MAKA!" in unison. Then as if nothing happened stand up properly and start berating me with questions.

"WOAH YOUR hair IS NOT in PIGTAILS, WHAT'S wrong?!"

"Kid tol…d us yo..you passed ou..t, are you… alrig..ht?"

"WERE YOU SCARED THAT BLACKSTAR WASN'T THERE TO PROTECT YOU?"

"Do you want me to fix your room for you?"

"Why weren't you at breakfast?"

"oy dummies! Its's obvious she was resting."

I back up and hit my bed post, stubbing my toe.

"FFFFFFFFFFF….UUUUU…dge, that hurt."

Liz steps forward and helps me stand up. "Sorry about all the questions, we were just worried about our friend."

She said the word friend. Is that what we are?

"It's fine there's just a lot of you guys and one of me, and I was feeling bombarded by your energy." I giggle a little and smile sheepishly.

"AAWWW OH MY GOD MAKA! You are SO CUTE! I've never seen you SMILE LIKE THAT!" Patty exclaims.

"AREN"T I right Soul!?" She slaps him on the back, and he diverts his eyes to the ground quickly. His ears reddening? I immediately start to blush, and my smile disappears.

"Oh… umm… I don't know." He shifts uncomfortably.

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"She does look cute, right on Patty!" Kid chimes in and my eyes go wide. "BUT YOUR HAIR IS TOTALLY UNEXEPTABLE!" That sounds more like him. "Can I fix it?!"

"Kid… maybe we sho..should let her sleep… she ne…eds it after what happ…ened." He sighs and nods in agreement "Okay then."

"IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?! HOW ARE YOU FEELING?!" For once, even though it was still obnoxiously loud Blackstar said something not of himself.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a little lightheaded."

"THAT MUST SUCK."

I smile again "Yeah it does."

"Patty was… rig…ht, why don't you … smi..le more often?" Tsubaki chuckles. I don't know why Im grinning so much today. Is it that they all came to check up on me, the funny group violence, the medication or that I haven't spoken to many people today.

"I don't know… thanks." I look at Soul and he's still staring at the ground, totally unhinged from the conversation. I really look awful right now, bed headed, eye bags and overly large, long sleeved, brown scrubs. How are they saying I look good.

"Okay, guys let's let Maka rest, see you later!" Liz shouts. Everyone follows her and I turn back into my room.

Right as I shut my door, it stops before it can close. I spin around to see Soul in my doorway.

"Hey, so are you really okay?" he says in a low tone. I move back and twiddle my fingers.

"Yeah?" He steps in and takes a seat on my bed.

"It was after your lesson."

"I know, I just got overwhelmed and got a panic attack, it was nothing."

He sighs and looks at me sadly. He's probably going to tell me that I need to be careful and blah blah blah, that I need to let people help me.

"I'm glad you're okay." He sticks his hands in his pockets and leans back a little.

"Really?" I feel my face getting hotter.

"Of course." He stands up and takes a step closer to me. "I don't know what it is, but I like being your friend Maka, and I don't want you to get hurt." My hearts pounding now and our eyes meet.

"I don't want you to get hurt either." He takes another step and I feel claustrophobic.

"I have something for you." He steps back and I take a big gulp of air. He's doing that lopsided grin thing again. He steps out off my room and bends down to pick something up. I curiously look over and wait for him to come back.

His hands now behind his back he walks in again. My eyebrow goes up and I cross my arms.

"What is it?"

"Okay, I'm not showing you till you close your eyes."

"Really? How childish are you?" He then raises his eyebrow back and I reluctantly close my eyes.

"No, peeking… you can open them in 3… 2… 1!"

I open them to a paint set with two finely pointed paint brushes.

"Where did you get this?"

"I kind of stole them from the Art room. No big deal, they are for your door." He brushes it off, pretending he's all cool and does it all the time.

"Thanks"

"No problem."

.

.

He puts them in my hand and fully lays down on my unmade bed.

"What are you doing?"

"Well obviously, I'm here to help you brainstorm what your going to paint." He takes a ball out of his pocket, which resembles a basketball and begins tossing it in the air and catching it.

"Shouldn't you be headed to lunch?"

"Lunch isn't for another hour and a half. Can't get rid of me that easily." He says mischievously.

I roll my eyes and sit down separating all the paints. While he continues tossing the ball.

.

.

.

We spent 45minutes brainstorming and our conversations would be on repeat.

"What are you going to paint?"

"I don't know"

"MAKA! Hurry up, you don't have that much time!"

"IM THINKING."

"THINK HARDER."

^^ repeated approximately 20 times (more or less)

By the time I started painting, Soul fell asleep. His snoring didn't bother me that much, it was better then the silence while painting. His presence calmed me.

.

.

.

I had finished by 11:59 (just before lunch). My knees hurt from sitting and painting all that time.

"Soul… Soul wake up." I nudged him. But he didn't budge. He had stopped snoring and was still. He kind of looked dead. So I leaned in and checked closer if he was breathing. I was face too face with him, and could hear is raggedy breath inhaling and exhaling. I was just staring at him when suddenly his eyes opened.

I immediately shot back and rubbed my neck quickly.

"Oh good, your awake. It's time for lunch." He slowly rose and stretched out with a big yawn. After he woke up a bit more, and rubbed his eyes he looked at me and then to the paints all neatly put away.

"Did you finish?"

"Uh… yeah, I guess. I don't think it looks that good though."

"Let's see" He got up and I followed him out the door, and as he closed it. There it was, my painting.

…

A book with the pages falling out and landing in a black puddle with "Maka" written at the bottom.

"JESUS!"

"It's bad, isn't it."

"Are you kidding me, this is incredible! I was going to brag about how good my door is, but wow, its crap compared to this."

"Stop, your kidding." I smile

"No I'm not, how on earth! You should paint professionally."

"Haha very funny."

"I'm not joking, Blackstar's is literally just his signature, and Kids is just symmetrical stripes. But this is even way better then Tsubaki's camellia flower."

"Thank you." I laugh "C'mon were late for lunch."

"Damn your talented…" He says as he begins walking towards the cafeteria. I close my door and stare at the painting for a little while longer.

Soul turns around and catches me staring.

"Hey yo tiny tits! You coming!?"

* * *

**3**


	9. Chapter 9: Caring

**Hey guys, sorry it's ben so long. Was dealing with some stuff, so probably why this chapters a little more depressing. Anyways, its a little heavier than the other ones, but really liked how it turned out. Please review ;).  
I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER, BUT I WISH I DID.**

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Chapter 9: Caring

Lunch was easier than expected. There wasn't the same amount of questions as before and things were "normal" for the rest of the gang.

I didn't go to group or arts, and wandered the hospital. Letting my hand trail along the wall and I walked by a passing doctor. I was expecting them to stop and question me but no one did.

It's like I was invisible again. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it just makes me… upset?... sad?... Why, why am I so sad right now? I can't figure it out.

.

.

I take a quick shower, and put on a new set of scrubs. When I check the time I see its about dinner. I'm not hungry.

As I'm sitting on my bed reading. I take a second and wonder.

Do the rest of the gang even wonder where I am?

Do they even notice?

This curiosity. Almost feels familiar. Those times of me sitting alone at lunch, staring at all the happy and unbothered kids. Laughing like they never had any problems. It made me sick.

They didn't have to go through what I went through, and that thought made me jealous and depressed at the same time.

What did they do, to be so happy, and what gave them the right more than me?

.

.

.

I roll up the sleeves of the hospital clothes and see jagged lines tainting my once perfect skin. Now disfigured and ugly. I quickly roll them down in disgust. It was Papa. He did this to me, he made me this way.

My body is shaking, and I feel a longing ache. I look around the room and see if there's anything I can use. Of course, nothing.

They took my razors, any thing I could have used.

I roll up my sleeves again and stare at the randomized slits and trace them with my fingers. Then it dawns on me. Nails. It had been weeks since I had cut them.

Like a heroine addict flicking a needle I prepared my nails, by biting them into sharper points. Once I felt they were ready I fell back into bed, pushing aside my book.

I start by lightly pushing in the nail on an untouched piece of skin higher up on my arm. I began putting more and more pressure. And as I'm doing so I no longer feel the pain of my memories. I see the blood trickle down my arm.

No more pain

No more pain

No more pain

But before I can continue the line I hear a loud knock on my door. I jump and quickly grab a piece of paper on my nightstand.

"Yo Maka!" Souls voice echoes loud and I go still.

"Why weren't you at dinner, we were worried!?" I put the paper on the fresh wound and I don't answer him.

"Maka? We had some gross Lasagna today, you really missed out!" He chuckles. I shut my eyes and pray the bleeding stops.

"Are you asleep? What's wrong?" He asks, worried.

…

The once white paper is now red.

…

Before I know it, Soul is standing in front of me eyes filled with terror.

"I'm fine, I got a paper cut." I muster up a fake smile.

He doesn't say a word and his hair falls, so I can't see his eyes anymore. He walks over and before I can do anything he picks up my arm and removes the paper. I gasp and out in the open is a bleeding indent of my nail. He drops my arm. And steps back.

"Who am I?"

"What?" I say in a voice softer than a whisper.

"I said who am I?"

"…" I stare at him confused

"I am not any of the doctors, or your old teachers, who would believe that bullshit."

"I just got hurt. It was an accident." My throat closes.

"An accident?" He laughs dryly. "Fuck accidents…" He looks up at me. And I divert my eyes away.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF MAKA!?" I flinch, and tears weld in my eyes.

"…"

"ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT!" His jaw is clenched and his voice is filled with fury.

"I don't… don't know what you're talking about." I still don't look up.

"BULLSHIT!"

My blood is starting to boil, and I feel my muscles tense up. I stand up and face him, staring into those enchanting eyes.

"WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BARGE IN HERE LIKE THAT!"

"BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T ANSWERING!"

"SO?!... THAT'S NOT A PROPER REASON!"

"WE WERE ALL WORRIED!"

"WORRIED FOR WHAT!?"

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS THINK THAT KNOW ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, KNOW ONE NEEDS TO TAKE CARE OF ME! I DON'T NEED A BABYSITTER!"

"…WELL IT SURE LOOKS LIKE IT, IF YOU'RE STILL CUTTING YOURSELF!"

…

Those words, I'd never heard them out loud, even though Dr. Stein had seen my scars, he never mentioned them. I take a step back, shaking.

Soul takes a step towards me and reaches his arm out to touch me. But I flinch and move away from him.

I sit down on the bed and put my face in my hands and silently cry. I feel him sit down next to me.

After about 10 minutes, I hear him sigh.

"Look."

I slowly raise my head and sitting right in front of me is not Soul anymore. But someone who is putting their own insecurities out on the line.

I look at his arms to see similar scars tracing up and down. As I'm staring it takes me some time to notice he's shaking. Fear written all over his face.

I hesitantly move my hands so they're hovering over his arm, waiting for his approval. He winces but eventually nods his head.

I softly trace each scar and feel each ridge. He relaxes a little and I stop at the one that looks the reddest out of all of them. I look up again.

"8 months."

8 months. He hadn't done it in 8 months? How? He's so much stronger than me. I feel the tears coming back and I blink them away.

He's just like me.

I look over them one last time.

"Thank you." He pulls back and takes his sleeves down.

I lean in and he holds me in a warm embrace.

Hugging? I have never hugged another person other than Soul. Weird right? My father was never the affectionate type, and I didn't like to be touched by people before. I've only known him for a week. So why now? Do I feel so safe? So protected?

We stayed that way for about 5 minutes, until he released.

He spoke much softer than our yelling match not to long ago. "Please, when you feel the urge again. Come get me." By his phrasing I could tell he meant it more as an order, than a request. I nodded and twiddled with my fingers.

"C'mon." He got up and held out his hand.

"Where are we going?" I stayed put, not feeling very active at the moment.

"To enjoy your free day the proper way." He smiled and emphasized his hand held out. I thought for a bit, and finally took hold of it.

…

That's funny. Feels just like the hug.


	10. Chapter 10: Maybe

**Hey guys so I wanted to write something today, but didn't have a lot of time. So I wrote this along with the last chapter, and thought it might be a good small thing to post while I write the next one. This was happening the same time as Soul was showing his scars to Maka after her relapse. Enjoy the short excerpt. (POV change) The gang chatting:***

**I DO NOT OWN SOUL EATER. **

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Chapter 10: Maybe

"What… d…do you thinnnks taking… soul and …ma…ka so long?" Tsubaki squeaked as they were all waiting for their albino friend to return with the blonde.

.

"MAKING OUT! DUH. HAHAHA!" Yelled Blackstar.

"OOOOO, ARE Soul AND Maka a COUPLE?" sang out Patty

"They… jus…t met guys… c'mo..n."

"Yeah, but who knows they've been getting really close lately." Chimed in Liz with a wink.

"Personally I think Maka is too symmetrical for Soul, I mean you all have seen his lopsided grin haven't you?" Kid said matter of factly

"You think Maka's symmetrical?" Said Liz with a hint of jealousy in her voice that know one but Blackstar seemed to pick up on.

"DON'T MIND HIM LIZ, IT'S JUST HIS OCD KICKING IN. HAHAHAHA!" For once, Blackstar was being considerate of others feelings. Tsubaki smiles.

"Hey, I'm just saying. When I've done her hair it always looks perfect. " Liz does a quick sigh of relief. She continues to pick at her food.

.

.

"Anywayss… I just… hope Soul and Maka… are ok..ay." Tsubaki says with worry.

"They're probably just talking, its alright." Liz said assuring her. Tsubaki nods still uneasy.

"THEY HAVE BEEN TALKING AN AWFUL LOT, HUH. AM I RIGHT!?" He says nudging Tsubaki with his elbow.

She quickly blushes and tells him to stop.

.

.

.

"Do you think Maka knows about his illness?" Kid asks, suddenly serious.

"NO ONE knows WHAT'S WRONG with him, NOT EVEN us." Patty says, still staring off into space.

…Everyone remains quiet for a hot minute.

"YEAH I DON'T EVEN KNOW, AND IM HIS BESTFRIEND." Blackstar says with pride pointing to his chest.

"He seems like he's the most normal one out of all of us, aside from his usual sarcastic retorts, and RBF (resting bitch face)." Kid exclaims.

"Even though we've all known him for a long time, he's never told us." Liz adds.

"Has… an..yone … asked?"

"Nope" They all say simultaneously.

"He seems like he's able to talk to Maka though so, maybe he'll finally be able to tell someone about it. We should be happy that he can get that weight off his shoulders, even if it's not us… Maybe."

.

.

.

"Maybe he'll tell us soon."

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**Leave a review ;)**


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